Your New Years’ ‘Shoulds’ Will Backfire!
What a year to say ‘goodbye’ to! The past 12 months have made history and we know that it is not a year we want to remember.
I’m sure there are many of you who cannot wait to start the New Year with some wishes and promises. Chances are that these are filled with a lot of ‘shoulds” and unrealistic expectations. I am here to share some insight, and stop you, before all of those beliefs backfire.
The challenge with ‘should’ing is that when you do things from that mindset, it is likely that you are feeling pressured into something that you don’t want to do. Also, applying “should’’ can feel as if it is out of your control, and you have no say. Which will most often contribute to giving up altogether.
Maybe, you feel that bullying and shaming yourself into doing something will have a magical effect. Maybe you think that will motivate you to accomplish whatever you decided that you should do.
I recently saw someone’s post on facebook, sweating in the gym, which was carefully recorded and shared with the world. It had the following title: “Starting the year as I should!”. Needless to say, alarm bells and red flags were surfacing after reading that post. I can guarantee you that this regimented bullying will not contribute towards a lifestyle change, nor will it last long.
Humans are one of the interesting creatures who seldom take ownership of our wants. There is a big difference between, ‘I want to workout to develop stamina and strength’ and ‘I should workout because I should be strong and must have stamina.’ As you read these lines, you will most likely feel the difference between the two statements. The second one makes you feel that you are lacking something that you ‘should’ have. Whereas the first one is more likely a recognition of something you want.
I am curious as to why we are shying away from our wants, as if it is a kind of noble act to not take ownership of the things we desire.
Is your New Year’s resolution stemming from a “I should” mentality? Perhaps it is the same one you made last year. I challenge you to recognize and accept your wants. Oh, and one more thing, wanting something is allowed at any time of the year, not just on the first of January.
Embrace what you want.
